Judgement Day

So, this time tomorrow I will be getting induced to force our first born out of my body.  If they didn’t, I feel like this baby had no plans of leaving anytime soon.  I imagine him/her a little something like me – lazy, content, and doesn’t like change, so it’s probably staying in there as long as it possibly can.

But, I’m so excited and terrified about inducing at the same time.  I’m not afraid something bad is going to happen or anything, I mean, I trust the nurses and doctors, they’ve done this a gagillion times, what makes mine any different?  I’ve never done this yet, so of course I’m going to trust them!  I just hate not knowing exactly what is going to happen.

(Ryan Gosling trying to make me feel better)

Friends and nurses keep telling me how the day will go, which is a little more comforting, but still, you really just don’t know exactly what to expect.  It’s a super weird feeling knowing exactly when you’re going to the hospital to have a baby.  You sort of dwell on it.  When you don’t know, you don’t really dwell on it (well, I didn’t anyway) and I feel like when you start going into labor, you’re kind of in “go-mode” (or that’s what I imagine…again, I’ve never done this before).  So, we’re spending our last day sans child cleaning the house and tidying up for house guests.  (Although I know that no matter how much I think my houses is clean, my mom is going to find something else to clean while she’s here.)

So, let’s recap the last 39 weeks:

• total weight gained: about 20-25 lbs
• food cravings: FRUIT!
• symptoms: 2 weeks of headaches, 2 weeks of heartburn/indigestion, carpal tunnel, legs and feet swelling the last 3ish weeks
• complications: short cervix, gestational diabetes
• mood: pleasant on the outside, wanting to punch some faces on the inside
• hair: not shedding
• skin: glowing

J and I went out to dinner last night and the waitress mentioned how it’s amazing how much we’ll love this little thing, a love like we’ve never ever known.  I’ve thought about this before.  I love my dog like I’ve never loved anything before and I love my nieces like they’re my own.  But I know that I will love this little thing even more than that, the second I meet him/her and that’s so weird to me!  I guess we’ll find out soon.

So this time tomorrow I will either be playing the waiting game, in excruciating pain, in pain but not realizing it because of drugs, or I’ll be holding our sweet bundle of joy.  Shit’s gettin real y’all.