Judgement Day

So, this time tomorrow I will be getting induced to force our first born out of my body.  If they didn’t, I feel like this baby had no plans of leaving anytime soon.  I imagine him/her a little something like me – lazy, content, and doesn’t like change, so it’s probably staying in there as long as it possibly can.

But, I’m so excited and terrified about inducing at the same time.  I’m not afraid something bad is going to happen or anything, I mean, I trust the nurses and doctors, they’ve done this a gagillion times, what makes mine any different?  I’ve never done this yet, so of course I’m going to trust them!  I just hate not knowing exactly what is going to happen.

(Ryan Gosling trying to make me feel better)

Friends and nurses keep telling me how the day will go, which is a little more comforting, but still, you really just don’t know exactly what to expect.  It’s a super weird feeling knowing exactly when you’re going to the hospital to have a baby.  You sort of dwell on it.  When you don’t know, you don’t really dwell on it (well, I didn’t anyway) and I feel like when you start going into labor, you’re kind of in “go-mode” (or that’s what I imagine…again, I’ve never done this before).  So, we’re spending our last day sans child cleaning the house and tidying up for house guests.  (Although I know that no matter how much I think my houses is clean, my mom is going to find something else to clean while she’s here.)

So, let’s recap the last 39 weeks:

  • total weight gained: about 20-25 lbs
  • food cravings: FRUIT!
  • symptoms: 2 weeks of headaches, 2 weeks of heartburn/indigestion, carpal tunnel, legs and feet swelling the last 3ish weeks
  • complications: short cervix, gestational diabetes
  • mood: pleasant on the outside, wanting to punch some faces on the inside
  • hair: not shedding
  • skin: glowing

J and I went out to dinner last night and the waitress mentioned how it’s amazing how much we’ll love this little thing, a love like we’ve never ever known.  I’ve thought about this before.  I love my dog like I’ve never loved anything before and I love my nieces like they’re my own.  But I know that I will love this little thing even more than that, the second I meet him/her and that’s so weird to me!  I guess we’ll find out soon.

So this time tomorrow I will either be playing the waiting game, in excruciating pain, in pain but not realizing it because of drugs, or I’ll be holding our sweet bundle of joy.  Shit’s gettin real y’all.

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Pregnancy update and cerclage removal

So, I woke up this morning slightly terrified.  Today was the day they were removing the cerclage.  Before i get into that though, let me update on a few other little pregnancy things…

About 2 weeks ago (35ish weeks along) it was as if I all of a sudden became pregnant.  I started  to have to pee more frequently, I started to gain a pound or 2 (there was a month there where I actually lost a pound), my feet swelled up like marshmallows (it was gross and like memory foam – if you pushed on the skin, it would just stay indented for a minute or so), my leg started to give out on my randomly while walking (doctor said it was maybe sciatica, but I didn’t have any sharp pains), I basically had (and still don’t have) no grip in my right or left hands due to carpal tunnel or something.  It was weird, but still not horrible.  But then last week, after updating my endocrinologist on my blood sugar levels, and letting her know my OB’s concerns with my fasting levels, she decided to put me on insulin.  Have I mentioned how much I hate needles???  The first night I had to take it, my husband was here and so I made him give me my first injection.  It took a good 20 minutes before I would even let him near me!  I leaned against my bed grabbing a hunk of skin and fat while he knelt down in front of me and would ask “are you ready?” to which I would reply “NO!  Give me a second!!!” and I would deep breathe for a minute and defensively ask why his hand with the needle was getting closer to my stomach.  The doc said shots only in the stomach, which sucks.  It’s supposed to be injected into your fat, and I by no means am saying I’m not fat, but the fat gets thinned out a bit when you’re stomach is the size of a small watermelon.  So, relaxing enough to grab some nice flabby skin and fat get kind of hard.  I’ve since been able to stab myself though (once at night and once in the morning) with only about 5 minutes of deep breathing before the injection.  Just a few more weeks and no more needles but ALL the cake, cookies, pie, and pasta.

So, back to the cerclage.  We go to the office for our appointment.  First the ultrasound (when you have gestational diabetes, you apparently have to get ultrasounds every week to make sure you don’t have a giant baby, or something like that).  Little guy (and I mean “guy” in that non-gender kind of way) is measuring at 6lbs 2ozs, give or take a pound.  I think that’s how much I weighed when I was born!  Then we meet with the doc.  Turns out general anesthesia is unneeded for cerclage removal 😦  At least my husband was in the room this time, unlike when I had it put in.  Being able to hold/cut off all circulation in his hand during the ordeal really helped a lot.  Because it hurt.  A lot.  I read on one of those baby message boards other womens’ experiences with getting them removed.  Some said it was painful.  Some said they just felt some tugging but wasn’t particularly painful (bitches), most said they didn’t deliver till 39 or 40+ weeks, and one lady said that an hour or so after hers was removed, she was fully dilated.  Ummmm, wha?!?!  Luckily, that hasn’t happened.  I’m currently sitting at my desk at work, baby still where he/she should be.  But afterwords, as I was laying on the table trying to relax and recover, I look at my husband and say “I don’t think I can have this baby.”  Seriously.  That was bad and all that happened was a string was removed from my hoo-ha.  I guess an epidural is in my future.

So, now it’s kind of weird knowing the reinforcement it out.  In my mind, it’s like nothing is holding the baby in anymore and he/she can come at any time now!  But I suppose the reality is that my cervix got a little stronger with the cerclage in place so it should be ok.  Basically they removed the reinforcing steel, but there’s still unreinforced concrete there.  Which is good because  I’d rather have Baby Groot cook just a little longer while we finish preparing for him/her (and so we can watch Jurassic World in the theaters this weekend still.)